Of Flesh And Blood
by Melle Bastard
Summary: *First chapter is an extract* She came back as she left: without warning. With all her skeletons, baggage and then some more. But them, they stayed. How much could have changed in all this time? Bumpy Rollaro along the road. Rating might change.
1. Extract

"I said no, Nick!"

She turned around to face the wall of the interrogation room. No matter how hard she tried to focus on the bricks, the eyes of the two men behind her were impossible to forget. The woman was convinced she could feel them clenching on her back.

"Amanda, I know it's a terrible decision to make and I don't pretend to understand how you feel right now…"

"Then don't. If I hear anything else coming out of your mouth, I can guarantee you that me and your case are gone."

She turned back to face them. Both pairs of eyes were staring at her filled with something close to pity.

All of a sudden the air cooled down. She crossed her arms as tight as she could on her chest as a thrill ran down her spine.

One more minute in this room and Amanda would lose her mind.

Fin had remained silent up until then. She caught the look on his face right before he started walking towards her.

When he tried to put a hand on her shoulder, she retreated, the feeling of having been backed into a corner becoming even less bearable.

"It might be the only material proof the court will admit. None of us want this monster to walk free."

Rage mounted in her throat at such a fast pace that she didn't even get a chance to notice. Her whole body was now shaking with anger.

"You called me in here. I told you everything I know. If need be I will even testify. But don't you dare asking me this again."

"It is our last chance to justice, Amanda."

Amaro's voice was the last straw she needed for her rage to explode.

Next thing she knew, Fin was containing her with his arms around her waist, while she screamed words she wouldn't be able to remember.

"Justice?! Putting my five year old on the stand and submitting my two year old to a vaginal exam that's your idea of justice?! Is that what you would do if it was Zara instead of them, Nick?"

No answer. He just looked at her, obviously doing his best to control his own anger. For what felt like an eternity, the room fell silent. The three of them seemingly frozen in time, Fin constraining her, Nick leaned against the table.

"Leave."

She was the one breaking the silence. Her eyes fixed on Amaro, Amanda could have probably killed him right now if she'd had the opportunity.

But he maintained her gaze.

"Amanda…"

"Get out. Now!"

She was fighting Fin's embrace with all the strength she could gather. The rest of the squad had probably heard her scream her lungs out. But he didn't move.

"Leave, Nick."

Fin looked at him in a way that didn't call for any response. After one last glance at Rollins, Nick abdicated, slamming the door of the interrogation room behind him.


	2. Ghost

**First of first, thanks so much for the encouraging feedbacks! Here is the first chapter, if you like it (or not) please don't hesitate to keep it flowing :) I also apologise if my English is off from time to time, it is only my second language. Thanks in advance for any constructive criticisms and impressions!**

The piece of paper landed on Fin's desk before he even had a chance to realise that she was back in the squad room. He raised his gaze from the laptop, surprised to see what the Sergeant just dropped in front of him.

"You promised to pay for his new suit or something?"

Olivia stared at him, with this look of contentment proper to someone who just got her way.

The rest of the team turned towards her, the same hint of surprise in their tired eyes. All of them had been desk bound for the past three days and four nights, breaking their backs to find enough concluding evidence for the ADA to deliver the precious pass.

So deep in the whirlwind of sleep deprivation, it was almost too good to be true.

"Let's just say Barba finally got his priorities straight. He gave us the green light to search Leighton's cabinet and the house."

Benson glanced at the detectives, waiting for some kind of reaction. Carisi and Amaro's spots had disappeared under a mountain of Chinese takeaways and coffee cups. Fin's paperwork pile was as thick as the next Martin's opus, and the look on each of their faces was so emotionless it was almost worrying.

"Let me guess: no press involved or SVU is back on the radar?"

She stared at Nick, not in the least amused by his what it'd probably thought would be some clever piece of cynicism. Election years were rough enough as it was for her squad. If she had to do any more convincing today, Benson knew it, she'd start hitting the bourbon.

Or one of them. And considering the latest developments, Amaro took the top of the list.

"The doctor Leighton is one of the most renown paediatric surgeon in the country. He gravitates in the highest spheres of the medical international community and has been practicing for more than twenty years. If anybody got hang of it I will not hesitate to hold you accountable."

"Great. Now how do we find the rest of his victims?"

The question caused the Sergeant to sigh as heavily as she possibly could to make it obvious she'd had enough.

"See that's the good thing with search warrants, Carisi. They give you access to all the information you need."

"Even if we get all his files for the past twenty years, some of these kids will be grown adults now. They will have moved states, change names maybe…. We might have to make public announcements."

Olivia turned back to Fin. If she needed someone to count on, it was him. And she could. To bring about the blind she already asked to she hadn't found any satisfying answers for.

Her hands were tied, and so were theirs.

"No press. I want this son of a bitch behind bars by the end of the month."

She'd heard the testimony of the two alleged victims who came forward spontaneously. One of them claimed molestation which had occurred more than ten years ago and was now a twenty year old woman. Too late for prosecution. For the other, an eight year old girl, the DNA wasn't there. Leighton was virtually untouchable thanks to his status. Most of his colleagues and hospital staff had remained silent.

She didn't have time for details any longer.

Still addressing Tutuola, Olivia put an end to the conversation.

"Carisi and Amaro, you're heading to the house. I want all the rooms, all the closets searched with a comb."

"You got it Sergeant."

Before she could continue, the two detectives were heading to the elevator.

"Fin, you're in charge of the cabinet. Take Constantinescu with you."

For the first time since she entered the room, Levana seemed to notice the boss's presence. Her big brown eyes stared at Benson the way they would have if she'd just saw some sort of poltergeist.

"I thought I wasn't allowed to leave this desk."

Benson observed her briefly. Her undercover mission from last month had left them with a dead pimp and two buyers injured. All from the trigger of the poor little thing that was her newest detective.

So much for damage control.

"Believe me, I'm as surprised as you are. But I need all my heads on this case."

Without further ado, Benson addressed Fin one last time loud enough for Constantinescu to hear.

"Don't let her out of your sight."

On this, the Sergeant retreated to her office. Levana grabbed her belongings, not without giving her darkest glance to the closing door.

Fin let it go. In the three years she'd been with them, the girl had had more undercover works than most of them during their entire time on the job. Surely this situation was to be expected. But his neck wasn't on the chopping board if they happened to screw up.

"Ready to roll, kiddo?"

**Morgan Stanley Children Hospital- Cardiology ward**

He'd spread out the task has wisely as he could. While Constantinescu was reviewing the files, Tutuola took on himself to question the staff in the adjacent room. After the secretary and the surgical nurses, he was talking to the anaesthesiologist of the ward. The woman was giving him the exact same depiction of the doctor he had heard repeatedly for the past two hours.

"The doctor Leighton is one of the most dedicated man I have ever worked with. He takes great care of all his patients."

"So you've never witnessed anything off with him? Any behaviour with the kids that might have looked a bit strange?"

For the fifth time since they came in, Fin flipped the pages of his pad. Until now, it was just a long list of repetitive statements.

"Of course not! I don't know what the girls have told you. The doctor would never hurt any of those children."

"You know sometimes, things can get a bit out of hands. All these young girls he has been in contact with, some of them teen agers… It's easy to get carried away. Everybody makes mistakes."

"Not doctor Leighton. These accusations are absolutely outrageous."

"Detective Tutuola?"

He turned around. Levana's head was sticking out from the ajar door.

"Not now, Constantinescu."

On this, Fin went back to his witness.

"Do you have any recollection of the time Julie and Kendra spent in doctor Leighton's care? Anything they might have misinterpreted?"

Before she even had the chance to formulate an answer, his partner interrupted the practicioner.

"Detective, my apologies. But I need a word with you."

Fin managed to hide his annoyance from the anaesthesiologist. Not willing to create any more tensions in the room, he stood up from the couch.

"If you'll just excuse me a minute, Mrs Jones."

He joined Levana in the cabinet and shut the door.

"What the hell is wrong with you, kiddo? You don't burst in when I'm talking to a witness."

She had re-decorated the floor with all the files she could put her hands on. Ignoring his criticism, Levana had kept her nose in one of them, eyebrows frowned.

"This you want to see, Fin"

She handed him the papers. He quickly scammed through it, turned the first page. His eyes stopped moving.

All of a sudden, he turned mute. For a good couple of minutes, they stood there in silence, before Levana took on her to fill the awkward blank.

"The mother of this little girl, is she not this Georgia cop you guys used to work with?"


	3. Baby Gone

**Adam Leighton's house**

Carisi was checking the drawers in the master's bedroom after having inspected every corner of the living room on the ground floor. The place was made up of ten different rooms without counting the toilets and the basement. Him and Amaro had split the job from east to west. Until now, none of them had put hand on anything worth their attention. From what he'd seen, the doctor's life was as boring as it came, each suite ornamented with another diploma, family pictures of his children and grand-children, weddings, christening, awards ceremony, and the man shaking hands with folks who's responsibility was to save the world, one cure at a time.

From the look of his home, this guy was only guilty of an incredible ego and bad tastes in wallpapers.

At least they weren't disturb by anybody's presence. The Leighton couple was in Washington for a conference according to the maid. She stayed to finish some chores and take care of the plants. The detectives had the day before them. A luxury which, by the look of the searches so far, was greatly needed.

As he started examining the book shelves, Sonny heard the footsteps of his partner coming down the hall.

Nick appeared, just hanging up his phone.

"Liv' wants us back at Barba's office ASAP."

Carisi lifted his eyes from the book he had picked up. They'd only been here for a couple of hours.

"What, you mean now?"

"No. Sometimes next week."

With this Amaro left the room. Rolling his eyes, Sonny put the book back on the shelf and followed him down the stairs.

**ADA's office**

Fin had been the one to contact her at the precinct. In regard of the nature of the findings, Olivia had preferred to summon a meeting with Rafael right away. The line of direction was clear concerning any sort of scandal, and the wisest thing to do in light of the recent developments was to fill all of them in before any further proceedings.

This affair was complicated enough as it was without miscommunications coming into play. Barba had agreed to lead the meeting in his office, and the three of them were now waiting for the rest of the squad. The tension in the room could have been cut with a knife.

"Detective Tutuola, are we clear on the fact that you didn't pursue the interrogations after Constantinescu called you in?"

The latter shook his head, still processing the information they found back at the hospital.

"I dismissed the witness and called the Sergeant right after Levana presented me with the file."

"Is detective Constantinescu still in possession of the file?"

Fin exchanged a brief look with Olivia before returning his attention to Barba.

"She went to bring it to the precinct. On my orders."

Rafael dropped his gaze for a second, replacing one of the pens on his desk.

"Let's hope your partner was clever enough to triple lock it in an armoured drawer also equipped of a portal leading to a galaxy far far away because if this ends up in the wrong hands, we can all pack our bags."

The other man didn't respond. Sarcasm was the ADA's favourite means of defence. He'd rather keep silent until the rest of the team joined them.

Apparently, so did Olivia. One look at her and her detective could see the gears activating in her brains as fast as she appeared calm.

Truth was, not one of them knew how to handle the mess they just found.

Eventually, Carisi and Amaro came in, clueless and annoyed at the fact that Barba had interrupted the good development of the searches.

Nick was the first to speak.

"What's so important for you to call us in the minute we finally got a warrant?"

The ADA's answer came sharp.

"Watch your tone, detective Amaro."

"I called this meeting, Nick. And I would appreciate if you didn't question my decisions."

Benson's response was obviously neither menacing, nor convincing enough, as Amaro was quick to snap back.

"Great, so what are we waiting for?"

The past week's events and the exceptional nature of the case had started to take on everybody's nerves. Before anything else could be said, Fin jumped in.

"We're waiting on Levana. Should be here any minute."

Carisi let out a sigh. Partly because he was irritated by the situation, but mostly because of the apparent lack of cooperation from the other three.

"Can we at least get a quick brief? Cause we were supposed to investigate on an alleged paedophile right about now."

On this, Olivia stood up from the chair where she was sitting, her patience having reached its limits.

"If you've got anything to say about the way I handle my cases Carisi I…"

"Sorry for the delay. Traffic was absolutely awful."

Levana shut the door as she spoke. She turned around just to see the four pair of eyes darted on her 4'9 frame.

Barba stood up as well. He went around the desk, pulling on his vest.

"Detective Constantinescu, can you please inform the detectives Carisi and Amaro of your findings while investigating Adam Leighton's cabinet earlier this morning?"

The young woman opened wide eyes to the ADA's enquiry.

"You didn't tell them?"

In a hopeless effort to prevent the atmosphere from getting any worse, Benson answered her.

"Regarding the nature of the findings, the counsellor and myself wanted all of the detectives working on this case to be present. As you were the one who made these findings, I would like for you to inform your colleagues, detective."

The exchange was too formal to leave any room for suspicion. Whatever was about to be revealed, Nick and Sonny now realised, would be a game changer.

They looked at each other, doing their best to dissimulate their anxiety.

In the meantime, Levana, tablet in hand, felt like her Sergeant had just trapped her. All those guys would most certainly be destabilised at best by what they discovered, and she was the one left with the dirty job.

"Today, detective."

Barba's voice was pressing her. Levana stopped thinking and activated the tablet, taking care to keep her eyes on the screen.

"I got hold of the files back at the hospital. One of them in particular got me and Fin's attention."

"Anything we can work with?"

Olivia put her hand on Nick's arm, which wasn't made to reassure him.

"Let her talk."

Levana gave a quick glance to the two of them, took a deep breath, and kept going.

"A year and a half ago, a six months old baby was admitted in doctor Leighton's service for an intervention to repair a Tetralogy of Fallot. The report precise that the surgery went on without any sort of incidents and the little girl was out of the hospital after three weeks of aftercare. She has visited again regularly for follow ups and is still being treated at Stanley Hospital to this day, as she suffers from a genetic condition. Last time she was there was two weeks ago for blood tests."

Levana paused, provoking confused looks on her colleagues' faces. After an instant, Amaro spoke again.

"So what, did somebody had anything conclusive on this little girl?"

Constantinescu stared at Olivia once more. The Seargent nodded, as to give her approbation for Levana to finish.

She didn't need approbation. She needed fucking help.

Shaking her head, the detective picked up her explanation where she'd left it anyway.

"I didn't have to find anything more conclusive than what I found in the report, Nick."

Avoiding eye contact, Levana turned the tablet around.

"The baby in question is Selah Rollins. 2 years old. Born in Atlanta from Amanda Rollins and unknown father. She's been living in the city almost her entire life."

When Constantinescu observed the scene again, all of her interlocutors were staring at the tablet. The pictures of both mother and daughter looking straight back at them.


	4. The Ones We Know

Fin was so intensely focused on the road for the past forty minutes, Levana was convinced she spotted some steam coming out of the top of his head. After a brief glance in the mirror, she went back to the report sitting on her lap. Her legs folded under her on the passenger seat, the young detective had the sensation to wait for some kind of natural catastrophe to blow up any second. Fin and her had been partners for quite a while now, and she couldn't remember ever seeing him that tensed.

Levana respected that. On the job, partners and colleagues quickly became the individuals you spent the major part of your time with. They knew stuff about you, your real you, even family didn't suspect. They understood what you were made off and even contributed to moulding you into someone you never thought you could be. Whether you wanted it or not, the people you worked with knew you better than you knew yourself.

At SVU, all the limits of personal intimacy were broken. Not because folks didn't have any notions of intimacy, but because it was essential to survival.

"I still don't understand why the Sergeant sent me instead of Sonny or Nick. Surely, she would rather have familiar faces announcing her that her daughter's surgeon was a child molester."

She had formulated her statement without even raising her head. Fin quit paying attention to the road for an instant to look at his partner.

"She's not an SVU detective any more, kid. She's a witness in an ongoing investigation for which you found the evidence."

It was the truth. Granted only partially, but Fin didn't really feel like getting into more details about how the miles of history between Amanda and the rest of them would have certainly compromised the good development of an interview which was already going to be tough.

Internally, he didn't really know how to feel either. Amanda cut short all contacts with the squad as soon as she left three years earlier. To be perfectly honest, the reasons for her departure wouldn't really push anybody to maintain any kind of relations.

Levana didn't need to know that.

The girl did have her flows. Her most appreciated asset however, was her ability to understand when to stop asking questions. She made a good average with Carisi's ever running mouth.

"To be fair Fin, it might have just been because we need a softer side. Like this is going to make a damn difference."

True, optimism wasn't her strongest suit.

But as she rightly pointed out, there was no way for this interview to go well.

**Amanda Rollins' Apartment**

She was crawling back to where she started in the small corridor, which from her point of view looked more like route 66. When she touched the red Lego lying there for the hundredth time, proud of her accomplishment, she turned around with difficulty, and aimed for the front door. In the background, the water running in the bathroom mixed with her mother's voice. Selah couldn't see her, but the comforting tone and the distraction that was her newest past time were enough occupation for the little girl not to bother.

The ringing bell came at the same time as the footsteps of her mom behind her. Before the toddler could do anything, she had put her glasses on top of her nose and picked her up from the floor.

"Turn the lights off once you're done!"

She shouted towards the bathroom, where the water continued running.

Her baby in one arm, Amanda went to open the door. What she saw on the other side had her tightened her embrace around Selah, afraid she might have dropped her from the shock.

She could only imagine that was probably exactly what a mini stroke felt like.

"Fin."

The situation wasn't much easier for the man facing her. Under the stare of his partner, he did his best to keep his composure.

"Hi Amanda."

Levana took a step back, while the former detective tried to recover her speech faculties.

"What… what are you doing here?"

Fin glanced inside the apartment, with this look she'd seen on him too many times around.

"Can we come in?"

She was about to reply, when another little person came running like a rocket towards her leg.

"Mommy, I brushed my teeth all by myself!"

In a same gesture, the two visitors turned their heads to see the person who just interrupted them. A gorgeous little girl with caramel skin smiling so hard her jaw could have dropped.

Forcing a smile too, Amanda passed her hand down her firstborn's dark, curly hair.

"That's great, India. Why don't you go sit on the couch? Mommy will be through in a minute."

India stared quickly at Tutuola and Constantinescu, and vanished from sight.

Amanda redirected her attention to them, her eyes fleeing contact.

"Fin, what is this all about?"

She was well aware that it wasn't a visit of courtesy. She didn't want to think about other explanations either.

"We would really appreciate if you could let us in. Talk more privately."

In her arms, Selah started to lose patience, attempting to escape from her mother's hold. Caching a glimpse of the young woman beside Fin, Amanda abdicated.

"This way."

She walked towards the living room, the detectives close by. The oldest of the children was now on the floor, busy editing a sharpie drawn, colourful masterpiece.

The adults sat on the two couches, Levana and Fin on one side, Amanda on the other.

Of course.

At this point, she had taken the decision to play it as normal as possible, for the sake of the girls. Inside, she could feel her blood hammering in her temples.

"I'm listening."

Her ex-partner scrutinized her from head to toe. She was thinner than she used to, and the glow on her eyelids testified from a serious lack of rest.

"We need to talk to you about Adam Leighton."

Amanda frowned and stared at Selah, still in her arms.

The feeling that her heart was ready to jumps out of her chest worsened.

"What about him?"

"Do you like dogs?"

India's question helped Rollins and Tutuola recall they were three to take part in this conversation. When Fin realised the little girl had joined Levana's side, he also remembered that he never presented her.

Constantinescu felt them staring, but resolutely kept her focus on the kid, concentrating all her interest in the drawing she was proudly showing her.

"Yes love, I really like them. Is this one yours?"

She pointed at the yellow dog on the piece of paper. India nodded theatrically.

"Yes. Her name is Frannie. She's with the neighbour just now because we are going shopping. It's an old lady, but she's still real awesome, you know?"

Faced with India's great telling skills, Levana couldn't help but laugh.

"She sure sounds like it. And that's one awesome portrait too, India."

Amanda looked at Fin, just to make sure they both agreed on what the next step was going to be.

Just like in the good ol' days.

"Honey, why don't you show…."

For the first time since they got here, the other woman looked straight at her.

"Levana."

Silently, Amanda thanked her replacement with the piercing blue eyes she'd passed on to her youngest child.

"Why don't you go to you room and show Levana the rest of your pictures?"

Excited by her mother's idea, India took Constantinescu's hand and dragged her out of the couch.

"Come this way!"

They both disappeared in the corridor, leaving Fin and Rollins alone with Selah. The baby looked like a miniature version of her mom, her thin blonde hair up in a messy bun and the big, round, pink plastic glasses she was wearing making the azure irises behind it seem three times bigger.

So presented with the replica of the person he had worked with for more than three years, the detective didn't know how to pursue.

Nor did he want to.


	5. Water And Bridges

**Right, a couple of things for this chapter: all the information I found on DiGeorge come from the internet. For anybody who might be concerned with it, or might know more about it, I apologise for any mistakes and will gladly take the corrections if you guys are willing to give them to me!**

**Second I am not entirely confident about this chapter and keeping truthfulness of the characters was a bit of a struggle. Of you notice anything that doesn't work, please drop me a line ! I really appreciate the reviews have had so far, and would really like having your impressions on the story so far.**

**For example, how's everybody feeling about the new kid on the block, Levana? Is she SVU material so far?**

**As I said, any suggestions, criticisms or impressions are more than welcome. Hope this bit satisfy your attempts!**

Nick had locked his eyes on Liv's closed office door, furiously tapping the wood of his desk with a pen which had the bad idea to lay there. No matter how hard or how many times he had tried, Amaro was unable to erase the two photos Levana had presented them with from his memory. Every time he attempted to get back to work, the face of Amanda jumped out of the screen, in the fashion of a bad horror movie.

Amanda. Amanda Rollins and her daughter Selah Rollins. Who have been living in NYC for at least eighteen months. The same Amanda Rollins who didn't even bother to say goodbye before vanishing from all their lives.

The same Amanda Rollins who was now the mother of a potential paedophile's victim.

And the only thing they were allowed to do was to keep it under the rug.

Nick broke the pen in half at the same time the door re-opened, letting Carisi out.

His partner approached him, not without caution. The expression on his face helped reminding Amaro that he hadn't been the only one destabilised by the news.

Not that he really cared about the other's state of mind. He couldn't even process his own reaction.

"You're on, Nick."

He raised his eyes to witness Sonny standing right in front of his desk. The two men maintained eye contact for another instant, before he finally stood up, in complete silence.

The door had been left open. He didn't bother knocking, and found Olivia pacing back and forth in the office.

She did a really good job keeping up appearances earlier on with Barba. Truth was, neither of them, including the Sergeant herself, had any freaking clue how to act from then on.

He shut the door. She stopped moving.

"Wanted to see me?"

Olivia stood still, looking for some way to make sense of Amaro's seemingly impassive face.

"Yes. You want to take a seat?"

She did so. Nick didn't move an inch.

"I'm good. Olivia, what's the drama all about?"

She didn't respond. Instead, the Sergeant observed him more lengthily. Out of all them, even if she hated having to admit it, Nick was the one she worried the most about.

He was the less predictable and had proved it enough.

"I just need to make sure that we are all on the same track."

He dismissed her words as fast as she pronounced them.

"I wasn't the one making such a huge deal out of it."

"No, you're the one denying anything even happened. All of us need to keep a clear head."

The provocative sigh he gave as a response allowed Benson to confirm her suspicions.

Amaro was on the verge of losing the plot.

He knew damn well he couldn't hide that from her. Which predicted nothing good for the future.

"I'm just doing my job, alright? Rollins or not Rollins, this guy still walks free. Did you forget all about wanting him behind bars by the end of the month?"

Her eyes darkened. Even against the DA, she'd been the one fighting to keep the investigation running smooth.

He wasn't going to come in with his own little issues and question her integrity, regardless of what his feelings might be.

"_Selah _Rollins is a special needs child who has been under Leighton's supervision for a certain amount of time. We have no idea what he might have done to her or might still be doing. She's one of the only kids with whom we can build the case, that's what I'm talking about. And trust me Amaro, I won't let you or any kind of grudge you might have jeopardize those kids' shot at getting justice. Is that clearer?"

No responses. All at once, the cocky attitude Nick had presented her shifted to one Benson had expected to see from the beginning.

Amaro came to the realization that she was right, and that he would have to go with it.

The shame of having been misled by his own temper was written all over him, and Olivia caught the change.

"Very clear, Sergeant."

She wasn't so sure about that. Hopefully he would let that sink in.

They all would.

"Good. Now get back to work."

After one last nod in her direction, Amaro left the room.

Olivia retreated in the back of her chair, letting her head fall.

She already had to fight the system. She wasn't sure she had enough energy left to fight her squad's demons at the same time.

**Amanda Rollins' apartment**

Selah was busy crawling around the sofa, as her mother filled him in on the past years of her life. Amanda had decided to dismiss the fact that she had ever meet Fin altogether. Whether because she wanted him out sooner rather than later, or because she wasn't willing to hear the reason for his visit was hard to tell. He was listening so carefully, the sounds of the girls in the bedroom next door had fainted into a mere whisper.

"When I went back to Atlanta, Kim had ran away. Of course, that was after she fell pregnant by her dealer of a boyfriend. For good this time. She abandoned the baby on my mother's doorstep pretty much right away. said she wasn't ready for a kid, who could have guess? I found her squatting in a warehouse, not long after and persuaded her to give me custody of India. It was easy enough actually, cause not even Kim was crazy enough to think it was a good thing for her to stay with her grand-mother. The court granted me full parental rights a month before India's second birthday. Everybody knows it's much easier when the child and the potential guardian are related by blood. A week later, Kim died from an overdose in a back alley. I stayed in Atlanta for my daughter to at least get some kind of stability."

She paused. Fin took this as an opportunity to attempt to make eye contact one more time. He failed again, and took a sip of the coffee Amanda had offered him.

"How did that work out?"

She giggled nervously. Selah started to climb on her mother as if she was some kind of massive mountain. Amanda lent her a caring glance, gently caressing her forehead.

"Great, for about a year. I met a guy down there… The love of my life."

She'd stated that in the most sarcastic manner. Fin pinched his lower lip, waiting for the rest.

"When I got pregnant myself, he was over the moon. He was already raising India as if she was his own, started to make those big plans about the four of us beginning a new life. Maybe somewhere else, far away from the past. And then Selah was born."

Her interlocutor glanced at the little girl. He already noticed she was smaller than average, and fragile as a doll.

That didn't prevent her from acting like a real tornado.

"Amanda, what's wrong with Selah?"

Taking the toddler in her arms, Amanda breathed deeply. She couldn't believe what was happening in her flat this very second.

"DiGeorge Syndrome. The mild kind. She's delayed in the principal milestones. She's got trouble learning to walk. The muscles in her mouth are not strong enough for her to properly learn to talk yet. Because of that I also have problem feeding her. She's suspected to suffer from some behavioural issues that will influence her learning skills at school. She's also blind as a mole but that's not related."

Amanda took the time to re-arrange Selah's glasses. The little girl gave her a big smile, to which she responded by sticking her tongue out before bringing her nose closer to her daughter's.

Then eventually, she darted her eyes on Fin.

"And obviously, the cardiac disease. But you wouldn't be there if you didn't know that already."

Fin was cut short, and blamed only himself for it. He should have expected her to go straight to the point.

The detective put the cup back on the coffee table, trying to find some sort of countenance.

Amanda spotted it from miles away. She let him do.

"We've got substantial evidence that the doctor Leighton had inappropriate behaviour with some of his patients."

"How inappropriate are we talking?"

She wasn't going to make it any easier. Fin realised it was a defence mechanism. He did his best to make abstraction of the fact that the potential victim was standing straight in front of him and instead focused on the mother.

The mother who was no less than a former SVU detective and partner. A detail he couldn't elude any longer, despite the speech he gave to his present partner on their way there.

"Two of his old patients came to us claiming he had raped them. I'm sorry, Amanda."

She didn't show any signs of reaction. For what felt like several minutes, the woman stood inches away, concentrated on her baby as if the rest of the world had disappeared. When she spoke again, Fin couldn't be sure he actually heard her.

"Not as much as I am."


	6. Losing Fights

She threw her foot violently in the printer, provoking all the people at hearing distance to turn around and witness Constantinescu abusing the Jurassic aged machine. A worrying bleep followed, and the terror of the squad room cursed copiously.

"Fuck that shit! It's the twenty first century, the hell is this joke?"

Sonny observed the whole fight from afar. A stack of papers in hand, Levana pulled on her long, undisciplined mane so hard she missed ending with brown locks tangled in her fingers.

Carisi remembered like it was yesterday the first time Liv' introduced her. She had arrived early on the morning even before the Sergeant. The three men were a priori convinced she was some rebellious child coming to report a crime. It wasn't until Benson joined them that the misunderstanding was settled.

From this day on Constantinescu had paid her dues and then some. But every once in a while, her untamed side still tended to resurface, as when confronted with an uncooperative printer.

"Having communications trouble, Constantinescu?"

Once at her level, Sonny looked down to catch her eyes. Levana wasn't nearly as amused.

She waved the stack of papers at him, missing hitting her colleague in the face.

"I promised this little girl to bring her back her pictures. I need to scan them for further analysis and this damn thing is out."

Pretending to be an expert in printer matters, Carisi kneeled to press a couple of buttons. The machine snored and the green light flickered again.

Sonny raised proudly to find Levana awkwardly tilting her head.

Great. Now she probably looked like an unstable fool.

"Thanks."

He crossed his arms, keeping an eye on her colleague, busy with placing the sheets of paper under the scanner.

"How was your interview?"

Levana shrugged. All the pressure around the case didn't concern her. However, everybody else appeared to take some pleasure in pushing her right in the middle of their personal mess.

"You should ask Fin instead. I... didn't really take part into it."

Sonny looked surprised. If Amaro feigned oblivion, he understood that Liv' sent her to prevent any kind of overflow.

He himself acknowledged that he wasn't completely ready for a full on confrontation. Amanda had her reasons for what she did, and he got that. But the wounds were still wide open among the team. Levana was without the shadow of a doubt the best person to make sense of the situation in a professional, impartial fashion.

Nobody stopped to wonder if she was alright with this.

Before he had a chance to, Nick showed up behind Levana, seemingly coming out of nowhere.

"Hey, what did you find out?"

The woman jumped and turned around. He'd arrived so fast she didn't even realise.

Tired with the interrogations, Constantinescu proceeded to switch the drawing under the scanner.

"Right. You guys are gonna have to stop acting like I'm the one who knows. Cause I haven't got nothing to say."

"Really, what are those?"

Nick just snatched one of the pictures from her hands. Levana spin, enraged.

"What the hell, Nick? Give me that!"

"If we can use that for the investigation, they're not your privilege."

"They're kid's pictures!"

"Well, they were important enough for you to retain them."

"Yes. Cause I'm the one with the psychology degree and last time I checked, I didn't have to justify my actions to you. Now you calm down, and you let me do my job."

"Oh, so a month ago you shot a guy's brains out without warning and today you're the psychology expert? Put your feet back on the ground. You're still under surveillance, and you can't hide things from your team. You wanna keep your shady ways, go back to the Romanian slums!"

"Nick!"

Sonny's intervention was cut short when Levana slammed the top of the printer down, probably sign that this argument was over.

"Whatever that was, isn't on me. Find a punching bag or deal with it, but don't pull that shit with me. I won't tell you again."

The screams ended. Carisi's eyes were travelling between his two co-workers, as he was busy thanking God they weren't in the open space, and Olivia wasn't there to witness any of this. Amaro's breathing was the only thing separating them from complete quietness. The man seemed lost after his outburst. Levana had already gone back to the printer.

Carisi came closer to Nick, carefully grabbing his shoulder.

His partner was shaking.

"Come on man, let's get out of here."

* * *

The waitress dropped the plates in front of her customers, breaking in the same move the intense and total absence of discussion.

"Anything else at all for you detectives?"

Fin politely declined, giving his third empty glass of coke to the young server. His levels of caffeine were of the roof by now, and it was high time to start using the jug of water.

On the facing booth, Olivia forced an engaging face to dismiss the girl.

"We're good. Thanks Amy."

The Sergeant stared at the hot dog on her plate as if it had been the most disgusting thing she'd ever saw. Coming to the diner was her idea. She had asked Fin to drop Constantinescu at the precinct and meet her across the road. The afternoon had been absolutely dreadful, and Benson didn't feel like dealing with any element of her team today.

Each and every one of them was pushing her over the edge and Olivia could do nothing about it. Their reactions was more than justified. Despite her little speech to Amaro and Carisi earlier on, she had absolutely no clue as to how to make sense of her own feelings either.

But she couldn't just put on an attitude and ask for everybody else to leave her alone until she'd managed to make up her mind.

The only sensible thing left to do was to get away. Just for an instant.

Fin was the only person she wanted to be around. And anyway, the past two decades spent in the same room meant she couldn't dissimulate anything from him, even if she wanted to.

Olivia took a sip of her drink, as if the remedy to all her problems would magically come from this diet coke.

"Did you manage to get anything from her?"

"Amanda asserts that she was at the hospital pretty much 24/7 the entire time her daughter was in the service. She also said that if anything wasn't clear, she would have noticed it."

"You trusted her?"

That was a rhetorical question. Fin was well aware of this. Olivia put a lot of weight on faithfulness when it came to the squad, and Amanda never really filled the criteria.

He quit working on his burger, to fix her straight in the eyes.

"I don't know Liv'. Cop or not, she's this little girl's mother. No parent can accept something like this."

Olivia lowered her gaze. With all this, she even came to make abstraction of the fact that Rollins was maybe about to go through the worst ordeal of her life. As any other mother, even in her position, the Sergeant refused to begin imagining her own child involved in such a case.

Fin had gone to the point. Sometimes, the boss too needed a bit of a reality check. He was tired of dancing around the subject and surely, so was she.

"What about the big sister? Did she say anything at all?"

"Not verbally. But she is an aspiring artist. She gave Levana a one to one exhibition."

Olivia hinted a smile. As much as she hated admitting it, Constantinescu was always excellent with kids. Probably because she looked like one herself.

After one ridiculous bite, Benson gave up the hot dog challenge once and for all. Fin gave up his good resolutions, to order a black coffee.

He stared back at Liv', to find she'd put her head in her hand. Almost sorry, Fin finally asked the question torturing him since they sat down.

"What's the next move, Olivia?"

She shook her head softly. The idea that she wasn't the one in charge made the whole situation ten times harder to handle.

Especially because she couldn't lead her own squad properly.

"It's not my call, Fin. I'll update Barba on the morning."

And that was genuinely all she could do.

* * *

Nick put the laptop to sleep at exactly 11.48. His neck was aching from the amount of hours he'd just spend looking at the screen. Around him, the room had gone quiet, certainly for a while. He had decline Sonny's invitation to go for a drink, along with his advice to go home and get some sleep. The twitching in his legs told him he wouldn't have been able to rest anyway. Instead, detective Amaro did the only sensible thing to do: some more work.

He also finished the last coffee pot around 8 o'clock. His brain started running on empty. Nick needed a break, or rather, his body was screaming for one.

As he stretched out, the familiar jingling of the biker boots disturbed the calm of the place.

She didn't leave either. Nick had completely forgotten about it.

The boots marked a stop at his desk. Without a word, Levana presented him with a piece of paper. An address in Brooklyn was scribbled on with a pencil.

He raised his eyes, incredulous.

"Make sure that stays between us. One more trip in Liv's office and it's my brains I'll have to blow."

Nick didn't move. She shook the paper at him, pressingly. Coming out of his torpor, her colleague grabbed it, speechless.

"Levana, you can't do that. If Barba finds out…."

"Well, then make sure he doesn't. Do it the Romanian way, you know? None of us were even here, you didn't see me..."

She meant it as a joke. Amaro's embarrassment was now written on his face.

"Listen, I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I acted like a jerk and there's no excuses for my behaviour."

"I know. And I still stick to what I told you. You needed it out of your system, fine. But if you want to fix the problem, then this has nothing to do with me."

For a fraction of a second, he stared at the paper. To be fair, she would have made a good shrink.

Before he had a chance to thank her, Levana pull a stack of sheets out of her handbag.

"I always keep my words. Give these back to my new best friend for me, would you?"

She dropped them on the desk, already ready to leave. Nick pinched his lips. Levana wasn't big with emotional moments. He nodded for simple sign of his gratitude.

"Have a nice night, detective Amaro."

She started walking to the door. Only then did Nick notice she was all dolled up.

"Where are you going?"

She turned around waving her hands as if it was evident.

"I'm 27 years old, single, I live in New York City and I work here. I'm hitting the tequila."

"As long as you're back here and operational for 7 am."

"Don't you worry about me. I'll see you tomorrow."

Levana kept going. At his desk, Nick flipped the paper around. A phone number was written at the back.

When he looked again, Constantinescu was gone.


End file.
